Dumphard

I was told that it's not offensive to fart for people in the United Kingdom. That, one can unapologetically pass out a miasmic ear-splitting fart in the presence of their mother or father in law. Where I come from, in Mpororo Kingdom, farting in the presence of an elder is sacrilegious. One can grab the nearest object and hit you with it, just because you have released some carbon dioxide into the environment to their disadvantage. It is okay to silently hiss out a fart as long as you are in a group so that you are not identified or if it is not loud and/ malodorous or if one is unconscious–sleeping, meaning the ability to control fart escape from the walls of the 15cm rectum is a herculean task so it is excused. Long ago, youthful single men would lurk around homes of potential wives at night and eavesdrop if the ladies are loud flatulists. If a woman farted a hoot that shook the house like a tornado, that was the ideal potential woman to marry and attracted hundreds of cows in dowry. This was because it was symbolic of eating well and satisfyingly like campesino farmers, so, one would be sure that they are marrying a hardworking woman. So, one day, I was at Bath Road in Hounslow, standing, waiting for the traffic lights to release me but instead some caucasian lady released five farts, each following the other at an indescribable interval. I was shocked, discombombulated and angry, so the exasperation was conspicuous on my contorted face. Then an elderly lady standing with us, rubicund face and grey head smiled and said 'I hope you are relieved'. And the lady fatulist was like, 'Oh yeah'. The relief was registered all over her cute shameless face. Another time, at London City Airport, a clotheshorse quinquagenarian man ensconced in a spongy couch reading the Telegraph newspaper leaned on one buttock and passed out two explosives, each with a five seconds interval, and of course his neighbour said 'I hope you are relieved. In my mind I was like, why can't this bloke respect his British Tailored suit? You know when you are seated on something spongy, you cannot fart unless you first tilt a bit and lean on one side of the buttock, especially when you are fat or plump with elephantine/humongous bums. I was told by a fat farteur that when you have humongous bums, when you sit, the exhaust pipe is suppressed, so there is no way you can gas except to stand or do as described above. I entered the train at Clapham Junction and lacked where to sit due to overcrowding. I stood near other fellow black Africans, and the train shot towards St. Pancras. An African man, Nigerian Oga, who thought that his thunderous fortissimo fart would attract sympathy, was insulted instead. 'You disgusting pig, get out of here'. The caucasians shouted when the malodorousness of the fart from an African man pervaded the air which we breathed. I think the man had had Fufu and the West African overspiced sauce for dinner, and falsely thought that he had the same privilege of relieving himself of carbon dioxide anywhere like a white man. The unfortunate bloke was arbitrarily defenestrated out of the train at the next stop. Now that was the real African way of dealing with an undisciplined flatulist. What shocked me was the irrational prejudice against the black farteur in a comparable situation with a Caucasian. Back to my roots in Mpororo, when an elder farts and you catch him or her in flagrante delicto, you as the young one are supposed to own it so that the elder does not get ashamed. If you fail to do that, you are upbraided and or beaten for indiscipline. When you fart while at the mat or table during dinner, the punishment is what is called, in the contemporary grammar, corporal punishment.

An abandoned princess out for revenge... A powerful king in search of a bride... A hidden enemy lying in wait... An uprising approaching... In every tale of love and war, one must always come out the victor. But, How can you defeat something you can't even see? Elena has gone through so many unfair things in life. As a royal princess, she is treated no different from a commoner in her own home. She endured it all, until the day she found out she was to be paid a tribute to the blood king.... The blood king, a tyrant and a masochist, the person most feared in all the four kingdoms. No one has seen his face, and whoever does do not live to see the next day. Elena would rather die than to be given to him. But she alone can't suffer. As she goes to hell, she will drag them all with her! Revenge? that's her motto. Death? that's her best friend. No one can stop her! And not even the blood king!

He was her destiny long before she knew his name. She was his ruin long before he tasted her blood. Seventeen-year-old Selene Duvall never believed in monsters-until the night she died and came back changed. When a scholarship drags her from the soot-stained alleys of Blackmoor to the elite and eerie Ravenwood Academy, she's thrust into a world of secrets, shadows, and ancient bloodlines. The nobles are too poised, the magic too hungry, and the hunger she feels? Unnatural. Impossible. Hers. Then there's Lucian Draven Valcourt-the Vampire King cloaked in centuries of torment and temptation. Disguised as her brooding new art teacher, he's come to Ravenwood to unravel the prophecy whispered in his darkest dreams. But the moment he sees Selene, the predator in him awakens. And when their lips meet, something ancient binds them, something forbidden and feral. She's not supposed to exist. As betrayals stack, friends turn foes, and power seduces even the purest hearts, Selene must face the truth: The greatest threat isn't the war outside Ravenwood. It's the war she ignites within. From masked balls and blood-soaked rituals to hidden tunnels and soul-binding kisses, this is where desire becomes obsession, enemies become lovers, and a girl no one wanted becomes the weapon everyone fears. Welcome to Ravenwood. Enter hungry. Leave haunted.

Emberly, an esteemed scientist of the Imperial Federation, took her own life after completing important research. She was reborn, and just like in her first life, she was born into a wealthy family. She could’ve lived a carefree and prosperous life. However, the babies got mixed up in the hospital and she was taken home by another family from the countryside. Her foster parents later found out the truth and brought her to her real family, but they didn’t like her. Her evil adopted sister even loathed her. She was framed and ultimately, she died in prison. But in her next life, she refused to stay a coward and swore she would take revenge on all who wronged her. She would only care about those who were truly good to her and turn a blind eye to her heartless family. In one life, she had once experienced darkness and been trampled upon like an ant. In another, she had stood on top of the world. This time, she only wished to live for herself. As if a switch had gone on inside of her, she suddenly became the best at everything she put her mind to. He won the math contest, topped the college entrance exams, and solved an age old question... Later, she garnered countless scientific research achievements. People who had once slandered her and looked down on her cried bitterly and begged her for a patent authorization. She just sneered at them. No way! This was a world without faith, but the world put their faith in her. Austin, the heir to a powerful aristocratic family in the imperial capital, was cold-hearted and decisive. He scared anyone who laid eyes on him. Unbeknownst to everyone, he doted on one woman: Emberly. Nobody knew that his desire for her grew stronger with every passing day. She brought light to his originally dull and gloomy life.

Dragons are born in twins set, one dominant while the other is submissive. One can't survive without the other, the dominants are sent to military schools, they'll spend most of their life-controlling their Dragon side. While the other half goes to Dragon Academy, they'll learn how to cope with being submissive, they are categorized into littles, pets, or simply submissives. The older dominant would meet them there, teach them how to shift, protect them from all dangers, and finally claim them as theirs forever. Kaiden is a special case, a little who never regressed before, she also never cried, until crossing roads with Adrian, a fiery red dragon. Thank you @TayTay_1996 for the cover!!! This story is DDLG, CGL, Fluff. Apologies for any misspelling or grammar mistakes.

Lyra is a spunky and resourceful young woman. On a fateful day, she learns she has been chosen - by tradition or fate - as the "bride" to be offered up to the werewolf alpha, who must have a bride in order to keep the peace between the pack and the humans. Reluctantly, Kale - the alpha werewolf - agrees to this ritual, but he has his reasons. Rather than being a savage beast, he bears the burden of protecting his pack against an ancient curse linked to the village. Kale's frosty demeanor contradicts a sense of duty and guilt about the centuries-old vendetta between wolves and humans. Through the union, Lyra gains more insight into the werewolf pack and their cursed past, and discovers truths about her own lineage that ties her to the wolves and their struggles. A new threat brings Lyra and Kale closer than ever. And you can learn more about how they tease out the origins of the curse and fight back against the forces threatening the destruction of their worlds.

“Are you drunk young lady?!” Mrs Wale asked Ayo “Shouldn't you be happy ma? that wasn't the reaction I was hoping for yunno” Ayo said then hiccuped. “Why did you drink?! who gave it to you?” Mrs Wale asked in anger. “And you, why did you let her drink?! is this what you teach my daughter?!!” Mrs Wale scolded Chisom and Joy “No aun--” “Safe it! I don't want to hear your excuses!” she yelled at them. “No mom! don't yell at my friends!!” Ayo scolded her mom. Mrs Wale held her by her hand and took her to a quieter place where no guest or media personnel was. “What is wrong with you? why are you so hell bent on disgracing me Ayomide?!” Mrs Wale asked “Me? disgrace you? hahaha, you're embarrassing yourself and enough for the entire family! This...” Ayo pointed around “... this isn't for me, it's for you!” “Stop saying that” Mrs Wale said gripping Ayo's arms and squeezing them, “I did all these for you and you are so ungrateful to even say thank you!” Mrs Wale scolded Ayo laughed mockingly “Thank you?! for what exactly? throwing a party I don't even like, making it a Barbie themed party when I don't like pink, inviting YOUR friends to MY party or saying you made me the woman I am today when you didn't EVEN FUCKING RAISE ME?!” Ayo poured out her heart, she was furious.

In today's digital age, mobile phones have become indispensable tools for communication, work, entertainment, and social interactions. While they can enhance connectivity, they also have the potential to disrupt personal relationships. One of the most significant impacts of mobile phones is the communication breakdown that often occurs between partners in a marriage or long-term relationship. This chapter explores how the overuse of mobile phones can damage communication, erode intimacy, and lead to misunderstandings.

The mating system has always been an angel mated to an angel till I was born and tagged the course of my kingdom, with two odd powers, I could predict death and as well read the minds of every creature I came across. How could I be mated to a Demon king, death himself, the very creature that was the enemy to the angels. ——— In a world full of mystery, sexual relations, war and love; two separate worlds struggle but are fated to be together. ‘An angel’ and ‘Death’ find themselves on earth as mates despite the nature of the weak angel in human form and the haughty owner of souls, their love blossoming in harmony, would faith be enough to keep them together or will their worlds fight against their union?

Yura Ellington always thought she was just an ordinary girl, living a simple life with her mother in a peaceful town. But one day, everything changed when she rescued a white pigeon trapped in the fence. From that moment, strange events continuously unfolded around her. Yura realized that the world she once knew was only a small part of the truth. She doesn't belong here. A curse has been dormant in her blood, hiding her true identity for many years. And now, it is slowly awakening. Amidst the unsolved mysteries, a world of magic awaits her. But it's not just magic; there are also lurking dangers - those who have always been searching for her, waiting for the day she reveals her true identity. Can she escape her destiny? Or is this just the beginning of an irreversible journey?

When I decided to put my job as a sugar baby behind me, I never thought that 3 supernatural men would appear before me. Renald, the spoiled movie star –also a vampire-werewolf hybrid. Tony, the most wanted bachelor in the whole city –who is a demon. And Michael, the cold billionaire –plus an angel. On top of that, my previous sugar daddy admits that he is an immortal sorcerer AND is the other three men’s father! What is going on???