(THE PSYCHO ANGEL)

I am running from the man who is running after me. I don’t know who he is, and I don’t even have an idea why he is chasing me. I am so scared it seems that I’ve done him wrong. He is holding a vase while chasing me, his eyes staring at me, telling me that he wants to hurt me or, worse, kill me. I don’t know what to do because I am so scared and I want to scream, but there is no voice coming from me. So I keep on running even though I don’t know where to go, and he keeps on chasing.

The thunder roars so loud that I can’t even hear my heartbeat; I am breathing heavily, praying that I hope someone will rescue me, but I know there is no one, only me and myself. He is not a robber, and he doesn’t want anything but me. I tried to open the door and windows, but I don’t know why I couldn’t open it; it seems that he locked it from outside, and how did he do it? I don’t have an idea. I went inside my room and picked the ballpen I found on the table beside the bed to use as my weapon if he saw me and hurt me. Even there is no assurance that it would save me from him. I hide under my bed, with my heart can’t stop beating fast because I am afraid and I can’t even breathe. The thunder continuously roars, but this time with lightning, pieces of information can see his shadow from under the bed. If he’s near, I can also hear him whistling as if he’s so calm while I’m in fear. I can also hear his footsteps and still whistling and holding the vase that I know he will use to smash me in the head. He stopped in front of me, still searching where I was hiding. I know he already has an idea where I am hiding because he looks so chill; He is just playing around like a cat trying to catch a mouse or like a tiger trying to play with his food before he eats it. He is not even talking or moving objects. I saw him getting something from his pocket, and it was a lighter and a cigarette. He lit the cigarette and started smoking while I was still under the bed, thinking about how to go out without noticing me. I tried to look around, but there was no chance of going out

because he waited for me to come out. It is like we are playing hide and seek, and He is the one who needs to seek but this time on a different level.

Once he found me, I was dead. He walks backwards and forward and then backwards again. I don’t know, but it seems that he’s trying to find something without touching anything because I don’t see things moving. It is still thundering, and I am waiting for him to leave the room, so I can crawl out from the bed but instead, he drops his cigarette on the floor, steps on it, and sits in the chair beside the bed. I know he knows that I am under the bed, hiding like a scared kid, lost in my own house, in my room. I tried to stop my fear and close my eyes, pray for him to go away, but I saw him stand up again and start whistling. I closed my eyes. I can feel him keep walking until he suddenly stops. The whistles, the movement, so I open my eyes to check if he’s gone. I slowly crawl from under my bed with thunder and lightning. I was surprised when he pulled me on my hair with all of his force. I tried to scream again, but I couldn’t scream. I dropped the pen that was supposed to be my weapon. He dragged me only with one hand and smashed me on the wall. He is so strong, and My back hurts; I feel like one of my backbones broke, and I can’t move. He walks near me with a steel vase in his hand. He lifts it and hits me. I saw his face, but it was blurry. That’s why I can’t recognise him. He kept on hitting me with a vase until I lost consciousness.

I woke up with my boyfriend sound asleep in my bed with my heavy breathing and the sweat on my forehead. Even the air-conditioner is on. I thank God that it is all just a dream though it looks natural. I am alive and kicking. There is no lightning and thunder; the weather is one because I can see the sunlight even when the windows and curtains are closed. No bad man and broken bones too. I got up from my bed, stretched my body, and I was about to start my day when I heard my parents fighting again downstairs. Daddy is home after a half month of not going home. His reason is his out of town business without calling my mom while he’s on his business makes my mom paranoid. I tried to sneak to check what was happening to them. My mom is so mad with my dad. She keeps on telling things that she already said a thousand times while dad keeps on explaining himself a thousand times too. They are always Like that. Good thing that we don’t have neighbours living nearby because they are so embarrassing.

“Where have you been?!” Mom asked, full of range, but dad didn’t answer as if he’s deaf.

“You are gone for half a month”, She added with a shaking voice.

“What is your reason now?” She asked, still with a shaking voice, trying not to cry because I could feel her breaking down again, but dad kept on ignoring her. Instead of answering mama, he went to the kitchen and made his coffee. My mom followed him, still mad at him, but he ignored mom as if she was invisible.

“Why don’t you answer my question?” She asked

“fix yourself, Judie. You are drunk again,” He said

“I am like this because of you. I am waiting for you to come back,” She said while looking at daddy.

“Even though I know that you are with her,” She added and started to cry. But instead of comforting mom. Dad shows dismay to her that makes her madder.

“What?! you’re with your mistress again!” She screamed,

“Why don’t you answer?” She said and pulled dad’s collar. He dropped his coffee, and the cup shattered on the floor. Mom got shocked when dad slapped her hard on the face enough to make her fall on the floor. She cried so hard and almost felt like dying how dad treated her since she found out that he was cheating on her.

“If you will not stop asking me, I will f*** leave you!” He said and fixed his collar and went to the balcony while mom was crying.

The cup shattered into pieces like my mom’s trust when she found out that daddy was cheating on her with his co-worker and business partner, to the woman that once mom treated as a friend. I closed My door and sat on my bed. They didn’t notice me watching them fighting. I lie on my bed again, composing myself because of the bad dream and the fight I always heard since mom found out about Belinda gives me a headache. She lost her sanity. Mom is always suspicious and paranoid. Belinda is dad’s business partner and another woman. She is the one who organised mom and dad’s marriage, and now she’s the reason why the marriage is breaking. At first, they were scared to let mom know about their relationship, but when mom found out, mom confronted Belinda to stay away from my daddy instead of listening. They continue their relationship, and this time, they don’t care about what mom feels about it or how hurt for her. As long as they are happy, they don’t care.

I can still hear them fighting when I lie down on my bed beside Echo because I still feel sleepy. I didn’t sleep well last night because of my dream. That is why my head is aching, but I can’t go back to sleep because of their screams and fights. Even I cover my ears with a pillow so I cannot hear them fighting. I can still hear them. With my head aching, I decided to stand up and get my cigarette and lighter at the mini table beside the bed and light the cigarette.

“Good morning”, Echo greeted with a smile. He just woke up naked and kissed my cheek, but I didn’t mind him or even look at him.

“What’s the matter, babe?” He asked, but I didn’t answer

Echo has been my boyfriend for almost a year now. He is always there for me, especially when I need him most because he loves to listen to me, and I love him too. He’s a quiet man who loves to wear black and everything black but behind that black craze of him. He is a religious man. He’s not like other men who love to drink, smoke and play around. His life might be boring for others, but he’s the one who brings me closer to God. He reminds me about God every time He sings me the Give thanks. By Don Moen, a Christian song that inspires me every time I hear it. It is so pleasant to my ears but not now because I am stressed and tense because of the fights I saw a while ago. I keep on smoking to ease the tension in my head until mom knocks on my door. I don’t want to open the door, but her knock annoys me. I hurriedly threw my cigarette away, partly opened the door, and asked her what she wanted without even looking at her.

“What’s your plan, Helena?” She asked, but I didn’t answer. After she fights daddy, she’s here knocking on my door and wants to get mad at me without any reason. She pushes the door to get inside, but I keep blocking the door because I don’t want her to get inside to see Echo. Echo hurriedly wears his clothes just in case mom gets inside.

“Your room smells like cigarette smoke!” She shouted. She can smell it from outside, but I don’t care. She keeps pushing the door to get inside, but I keep blocking it so she can’t get inside.

“Open the door?!” She shouted while pushing the door.

“What do you want?” I asked her

“Are you not going to school?!” She madly asked

“No”, I answered, hoping for her to leave me alone.

“Why?” She asked in an irritated voice

“You want to be an out of school c***!” She added

I rolled my eyes and said, “Leave me alone,” I said while keeping on avoiding her from getting inside my room.

“Let me in!” She shouted, so I pushed the door and hit her on her forehead.

“I am sorry,” I told her while she held the part that got hit by the door.

“I didn’t mean to”, But she slaps me hard like spiking the volleyball.

“You are like your dad! you didn’t know how to respect me,” She furiously said while pointing at me and walking away.

I banged the door and sat on my bed beside Echo. I start crying, and he comforts me. I don’t want to go to school, and I just want to stay at home with Echo because school is boring for me. He always Visits me every time mom and dad are out for work because I lost interest in school since my nanny Silva died. My nanny treated me as her daughter, who loves me dearly and always takes good care of me. She died because she got sick when I was sixteen years old, and since then, my life has changed. I am a twenty-two year old and still in university, who’s not interested in studying anymore because life is boring, school is boring since I got depressed when my nanny died. My nanny stood as my second mother when my real mother abandoned me since she found out that dad was cheating on her. Her love for me is gone, and even her love for herself.

“Stop crying,” Echo said while tapping my back, but I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I am having a breakdown because of mom. They are always busy and have no time for me. They are always out of town and leaving me alone, and once they are home, they are always fighting. Our house would be in chaos if they were home. I told myself that this was no longer a home but a house. I keep on crying when Echo hugs me and kisses me. He whispered to my ear like an angel reminding me that I could end all of my sufferings if I wanted to. I asked him what to do and he smiled at me. “Surrender them to the Lord.” I look at him to make sure about what he’s saying. He smiled at me again and said. “Surrender them to the Lord, babe.”

The words he said were like an echo to my ears that hypnotised me. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror, trying to find myself, but I can’t see myself anymore. I didn’t know the girl who was staring back at me. She is not happy, not sad, not lost, but she is not here. I know who she is, and I know what she is now. She is COLD. Cold as ice and hard like stone. While staring at the girl in front of me. Echo starts singing the praising song Give thanks in my ear. His voice is like an angel to me, and the song is like a drug to me. That gives me energy. I wiped my tears and got the cord from my old telephone landline, and silently went downstairs while singing the Give thanks in my head. I heard daddy talking to Belinda on the phone. He is whispering because he doesn’t want mom to listen to him. He is still wearing his office suit and drinking a new cup of coffee. He didn’t even notice me standing behind him because he was so busy talking to his other woman. I slowly struggle him with the cord that I am holding. He tried to grab me from behind, but I hit him with the coffee cup twice until it broke on his head. I saw his face turn red because of the hot coffee, but I didn’t care. I am still struggling him until he’s not moving anymore. He’s dead now, and I surrender my dad to the Lord. I know he will be at peace now, no more pain and suffering. I close my eyes and pray to God, thanking him for guiding me to do my job well after killing my father. I felt like he blessed me with a task to be his representative or a helper to help people ease their pains. I feel like new energy went inside my body; I feel so new, alive and fearless with the christian song that keeps playing in my head. I keep on singing with my eyes closed and arms wide open. Praising God for my successful first mission. While daddy is lying dead on my lap.

“Helena,” My mom called me in shock.

“What did you do?” Mom asked me when she saw daddy lying dead on my lap with a cord in his neck. She went to my father, pushed me away and checked if my father was still breathing. She listens to his heartbeat, but she can’t hear a beat.

“What did you do, Helena?” She asked again with dismay, but I didn’t answer. She touches my father’s pulse to double-check if he is still alive, but unfortunately, he is dead.

“You killed your father”, She cried and hugged daddy.

,

“Fernando,” She said with a disgrace of what I did.

I can feel the pain in her tears that are flowing on her cheeks like hot lava. Even daddy cheated on her, hurt her, She is still there for the man who doesn’t deserve her love. While I am here sitting beside her, watching her cry. I decided to end her suffering too. I went near her and struggled with the cord that I was holding like a chicken. She tried to remove the cable from her neck, but I struggled with her more until she was not breathing anymore.

“Sssshhh,” I said and kissed her forehead.

“You can rest in peace now, mama”, I whispered to her while the “give thanks” was still playing on my head.

“Good job, Helena”, Echo told me after he saw my father and mother lying dead on the floor. I didn’t notice him watching me doing the mission.

“Let’s pray to God now so that their souls can cross over”, He added.

We close our eyes and pray to God after offering my parents to him. I end their fights and sufferings by giving them eternal peace. Now the house is peaceful, no tense, no fighting, no hatred. I pulled them one by one and made them sit on the chairs at the dining table facing each other with our long rectangular table. I know our table will have a happy family that’s eating together. I also wiped my father’s forehead to remove the little blood from the cup that I smashed to him twice when he tried to fight. I stare at them for a couple of minutes because this is the first time in my life that I remember that they are not fighting. They look so peaceful, and I love it.

“The two of you look so good now,” I told them with a smile. While still staring at them, sitting facing each other peacefully and now I can start my day peacefully too. I keep the cord and sweep the broken cup on the floor. While cleaning the mess, I suddenly felt hungry, and when I checked the time, it was already lunchtime. I cooked lunch for us while they were at the dining table waiting for me to be finished, and once I was done. I served them the food that I cooked. I put rice and chicken soup on my parents' plates, and I also served food to Echo. I sit beside him, and we pray before we start our meal. Once we’re done saying our grace prayer. We start eating.

“The next time that you will do your mission, we will do it together,” He told me—at the same time, enjoying his meal, the rice and chicken soup with broccoli. I smiled back at him and thanked him for giving me peace in my life. Because now I can see mom and dad happy with each other, they are no longer fighting. This house Will be at peace now because of Echo.

Echo is my lifesaver because I will be nothing, useless, scared and invisible without him. It’s good that he came into my life to remind me that I am worth it because I am God’s chosen one, and I don’t need to be scared because he is there to guide me. That is why I have loved him all my life, and I know that he loves me too, and from now on, he will stay with me. I don’t need to hide him inside my room; I don’t need to sneak just to see him because we are now free in my parents' house. We will officially live now as a couple with three bedrooms, two toilets, one oversized garage, a backyard and three cars: My mom’s car, dad’s car and my car. We will be rich. I know that we will fill this house with peace and love.

“Have your chicken soup now, daddy. I know you always wanted that. Belinda told me the last time she visited here as a friend of yours because mom still didn’t know about the two of you.” I told him while gently pouring the soup into his cup. Trying to be nice to him even though he wasn’t nice to me, but sadly he didn’t want the soup I gave him that made me angry.

“Why don't you like my soup?” I asked him, but he didn’t answer.

“You don’t like it?” I asked him again, and this time. I’m a bit mad.

“It is because I cooked it, not Belinda!” I furiously shouted and threw the cup of soup on his face. His face turns red, and a part of his skin gets burned, but I don’t care,

“I am sorry, that is not what I mean,” My father told me, but I didn’t listen to him. I continue shouting at him, curse him and call him names.

“Sssssh, stop, babe,” Echo said, trying to ease my anger.

“He is still your father”, He reminds me and kisses me with his smooth and soft lips. It aroused me; I kissed him back, which Made my anger gone. We go upstairs to my room and make love again.