If I Was Perfect

She walked into the class, and all eyes of every fresher turned in her direction.

“She was more beautiful than God should allow,” thought young Lloyd, who was also known as Leo.

Leo was fortunate to be in that school through a scholarship. If his mother sold everything they ever owned, they still wouldn't have made enough money to send him there.

The death of Leo's father made him reprise society. His father was in a $1000 debt, and no one assisted him in pay. He spent all he had training Leo and had to borrow for their survival. However, he borrowed from the wrong person to owe, and he was killed in regards. Leo blamed himself ever since.

Leo had been an outstanding kid on the block; his passion for entertainment set him on the path to success, and thus the scholarship that led to his being in the school this Angel just got transferred to.

As she settled into a seat beside him, all he could think was how God was unjust for creating someone as beautiful as she was.

A tap from his friend drew him out of his thoughts.

“What?” Leo asked in frustration. “You were asked a question,” Dan politely replied.

Leo looked toward the lecturer with no clue of what was going on or asked. “Since your attention Is back on the class and not on the Miss, come up here and explain what I was just talking about,” the lecturer said “or should the Miss come to your rescue?” he added, and the whole class laughed.

‘Being the only black boy in class sucked,’ Leo thought as he took a walk of shame to the front. “I have no idea what you were on about, Sir,” He politely added while scratching his head. “Youre a disgrace to the founder of this school,” the lecturer roared back. Leo, not one to back away from an insult, added, “Well then, please give him my regrets,” and the class watched in amusement.

“You've got some balls, boy,” the lecturer said in total dismay “whose son are you?” he added while looking at Leo skeptically.

“If you're asking if I'm from the elite class, then the answer is no, I'm a poor widow's boy,” Leo said in a low voice.

“More reason you should make her proud. I believe she spent a fortune enrolling you here,” the lecturer said in jest.

“Wrong again, sir. I'm here on scholarship,” Leo responded.

And this drove the lecturer mad.

“Shut it, boy, don't talk back at me, don't act smart, matter of fact, don't even look at me when I yell. You black people think you can come in here and overthrow. This is our country boy, and we're in charge; you bow to us,” The lecturer said without blinking.

“With all due respect, sir, I don't know if you're a racist, but I did nothing wrong. I only caught a glimpse of an Angel,” Leo said as he waved towards the girl “Im Lloyd,” he added in a grin.

“The balls on this boy,” she said in a whisper, clearly impressed.

“Well, hold that thought because I'm sending you to hell,” the lecturer said in a fury. “Move,” He concluded.

When they were in the Dean's office.

“We have a high no-tolerance level in this school,” the Dean said in a superior voice.

“I understand that sir, the only crime I committed was not paying attention, and in my offense, that's what students do. What's wrong in starring at a...” Leo swallowed the rest of his words as she walked into the office.

“Sorry to interrupt dad, I came in to get my phone,” She said while walking over to the Dean's drawer.

“Go on,” the dean referred to Leo.

“Apologies, sir, it would never happen again,” Leo concluded. ‘Damn the man; I cannot believe she is his child,’ Leo thought in agony.

“Well, my verdict is a two-week suspension,” The dean clearly stated.

“But sir,” Leo tried to argue.

With a wave of his hand, the dean dismissed Leo.

Leo stood up in shame and left.

“Dad, I think you were a bit too hard on him,” she said while patting her dad.

“That was mild compared to what I would have done had you not walked in, you know deep my racism is. I have no mercy for people of color, and I'm pissed they are learning off my donations,” He said with no empathy.

Later that day, Leo was at the Cafeteria with his best friend, Greg. Greg was also a black kid at the school, and they both kicked it off immediately after they met.

There were only five people of color in the institution, and they all stuck together.

While they were eating amidst conversations, Leo caught a glimpse of the Dean's daughter upstairs chatting with her friends.

“Before I forget, bro, rumor has it that you were hitting on the Dean's daughter and landed a two-week suspension as a result,” his friend Greg asked, and the other boys giggled.

“What can I say? The man is a racist. They are all fucking racists in this school,” Leo said in bitterness.

“She's a real beauty, I heard,” added Daniel, another friend.

“Look up, that's her over there, the prettiest amongst them all. Yeah, she fucking stands out,” Leo said while locking eyes with her “Uhm, guy, she's staring, what do I do? What's she thinking?” Leo asked in confusion.

“Probably what a douchebag you are,” James said in laughter. “Stop staring like a creep, man,” he added.

“I can't help it, boys; she's breathtaking,” Leo said while finally taking his eyes off her and onto his drink.

Over at her table.

“Who's that guy” Shea, the Dean's daughter, asked her friends.

“that's Leo, the class doll,” Tracy said when she got a glimpse of who her friend was referring to.

“Why'd you call him that?” Shea asked in giggles.

“Simple. He's cute, funny, and talented; every girl in class wants him,” Rose replied.

Shea scoffed, then replied, “I think he tries too hard to fit in. Don't get me wrong, I'm racist, but what's his deal? He's full of himself.” She concluded.

“Usually, only guys detest Leo because he has the attention of every lady. I've never seen a girl that felt this way about Leo,” Emilia, another friend, added.

“Dont let her fool you, ems. It's just a reaction formation,” Tracy added while eating.

“Whats a reaction formation,” Rose asked in confusion.

“It's simple phycology,” Tracy replied. “It's a process of meaning the opposite of what you say or show. That's what our friend is doing now,” She concluded.

“I hate you,” Shea said in laughter. “Anyway, you're right; he's caught my fancy,” she finally admitted while looking at him and smiling.

“She just smiled at me, guys. Why's she smiling so mischievously?” Leo said in confusion.

“Smile back then nigga. I'm trying to eat, all this talk about females, give a gay brother a break, man.” James said amidst groans, while Leo smiled and waved.

“Why's he waving?” Shea asked if amusement.

“Why's he coming up?” Emilia asked in surprise.

“Oh shit!” Rose said excitedly, “finally, the why's would stop”

“Fuck me. This fool is going up.” Greg said while watching his friend walk towards doom.

“Major crisis, the Dean, is walking her way too,” Daniel observed.

“Disaster! This is trouble, guys,” Greg added in fear for his friend.

“100 bucks that fool gonna shy away,” James said, placing a bet on the house.

“200 says he'll çomplete his mission,” Mike said, “Leo fears nothing,” he added.

“The bet is on y'all,” Greg said as he gathered the money.

While Leo was halfway to her table, he caught sight of the Dean and groaned in whispers, “Oh shit.”

“Hello ladies,” The Dean greeted as he made his way over to his daughter's table and sat amidst her friends.

“Hello, Dean,” They all greeted back in smiles.

“Hy dad,” Shea said as she landed a peck of his face.

“Is that black kid coming here?” the dean asked in observation.

Leo walked past their table and hugged a strange guy leaving the boy in total confusion.

Then Leo said in whispers while still in his arms, “cooperate and get 250 bucks.”

“Hey man, how are you? It's been a while. I thought you changed school.” The boy said in cooperation.

“Nah, bro, I'm still kicking. It's so good to see you again, dude.” Leo concluded and left.

Shea smiled to herself after watching the display close to her.

“I don't like this kid, and I don't want you girls anywhere around him,” the dean added in concern.

“Pay up nigga” Daniel said in victory.

“Damn,” Mike said in disappointment.

“Sight of a racist that happens to be your Dean sure gives every black guy a premature ejaculation,” Greg added in frustration.

The next scene starts with a rich white student trying to convince the black kids to hang out.

“There's a party tonight; a bunch of us are going, y'all should holla,” Jason said.

“You know it's illegal to sneak out of campus on weekdays,” Greg bluntly said.

“Who cares? Shit, I thought y'all were the bad oñes?” Jason said in dismay.

“See, we don't like getting in trouble, because unlike you, we've got a lot to lose,” Greg added and walked away.

However, Leo was on suspension and could leave campus premises, so he went for a stroll.

While sitting down in silence at a coffee shop, he looked across and saw an aged woman struggling to cross the road with some heavy bags; and immediately ran over to assist her and then back to his coffee.

Then Shea approached him and sat. “I can see your chivalry isn't dead,” she said.

“I don't know about chivalry, but I wouldn't want that poor old lady on my conscience if anything were to happen to her,” Leo said honestly. “So, what brings you out of campus?” Leo asked.

“I got bored,” she said and walked away.

Leo wasn't taking that bullshit answer, so he picked up his coffee and walked over to where she sat and sat across.

“Hi,” he said.

“I didn't ask for your company Lloyd,” she said.

“Dont worry, it's free,” he said while grinning. “Sneaking out of school, you barely just got here. I don't think that's who you are,” Leo added, concerned.

“It's all I am. If you come from a family like mine, you'd understand. Sneaking out is the only way I get to be free,” she said.

“Everything has a price. Poverty is the real shithole, but yet you find that the rich are always complaining about irrelevant things? Y'all are so clumsy,” Leo said, clearly pissed off.

“Are you deliberately planning on getting on my bad side today?” Shea asked angrily.

“No. I'm only saying you should count your blessings, alright? The lot of us? We have it really rough.” He said and then narrated his story to her. “This right here, Shea? This is real life.” He added.

“Oh my gosh, Leo, I'm so sorry. You're a disturbed child. It would be best if you went for counseling.” Shea said politely.

“Nah, I don't believe, plus I can't afford that shit,” he replied.

“I don't mean to judge, but coming from where you come from, don't you think you should work hard? Study? Make your mother proud. You're all she has left, and any mother would be disappointed if their child doesn't live up to expectations.” Shea said.

Leo looked into the distance and narrated, “She's already disappointed. Mama's white, and whenever she looked at me, she realized that I was fucked because of my color. She doesn't even tell people she's my mom; if I'm lucky enough, some days, she's my stepmom. Other times when I run out of luck, I'm the kid her friend sent from Africa to assist with house chores. She curses the day she met my dad, and she says we both stole her youth. However, she did me a favor though before leaving for good. She found a way to get me to sit for a scholarship. I passed, went home to tell her, we feasted. You needed to have seen me that night. I had this massive smile on my face throughout my sleep. Unfortunately, every good thing has an end, and mine didn't last 24hours. I woke up to an empty bed, but for an envelope carrying the hardest letter I've ever read my whole life, and some cash. The letter said she was gone, and I shouldn't bother looking for her. The money was to get here and survive, mama said. Since then, I've been on my own,” He finally concluded, almost in tears.

Shea was dumbfounded, and she couldn't utter a word.

“I cried a billion tears that day; now I had no mother either. Where the fuck do I search for her? She has no siblings I'm aware of, no past relationships I could turn to; it was always only ever just the three of us. I've been here for three months. (Looking at Shea) even if I did study and come out with flying colors, who would know Shea? How would they be proud? Tell me, what's the point of trying so hard when there's nobody to please?” He said pleadingly.

Shea still kept mute.

“The world is cruel. When college ends, I'd have nothing left. My mom was supposed to live with me no matter what! It was her only duty as a mother.” Leo retorted. “I know we all have pain, but this? This is just too hard, and it sucks,” he concluded.

Then Shea hugged him while whispering heartfelt condolences and apologies.

“I don't want your pity, not even if I earned it. A while ago, you thought I was a jerk, and now you pity me?” Leo asked in agony.

“Get out of your way Leo, everybody has pain,” she said and walked away.