Living with my choice

"You will not marry him, never! Not when I am still alive". My father stated sternly and my heart missed a beat. not again! I panicked. The last time we had this conversation, I had ended up in the hospital. My father threw his barrel at me for daring to speak in his presence.

Beatrice, our housemaid had informed me of my father's call. It had taken longer than usual to get to him as I took one fearful step after another towards my father's room to answer his call.

My only sibling, Agnes on one of her visit to the hospital, told me how my father had ordered his guards to take me to the hospital after I passed out, without feeling remorse. I was not surprised a bit. It is my father and I know just how hard he can be.

I stayed in the hospital for ten days. Not because the injuries I sustained was very serious or because the internal bleeding persisted, but because I had refused to take my medication, exaggerated the pains I felt and screamed whenever the doctor or nurses as little as touched me.

On the sixth day, my father visited the hospital for the first time. He had been informed of my refusal to take my medication so he came not to apologize, or to comfort me. He threatened to inflict more injuries on me should I continue to "neglect myself".

As much as I hated my life in that particular moment, I couldn't risk daring to find out how serious his threats were. My medication was administered in his presence while I complied totally like a sheep led to the slaughter.

He left afterward after reminding the nurses to call him if they have any complaints about me. He never returned to the hospital, I mean I didn't give him a reason to and the next time I saw him was four days later when I got home upon my discharge from the hospital.

My mom had visited me once and the whole time she blamed me for being big-headed. Sometimes when I look at her, all I see is a broken woman and I feel so sorry for her. There was a time though when she held her head high and her voice even though not fully heard, was not muted. But that was a long time ago.

My sister's gentle tap on my shoulder jolted me back to reality. She had drawn my attention to my father who was speaking directly to me.

We were all in the living room and had just finished eating dinner and had stayed on as my father instructed.I feared this would happen but there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

The whole fallout began when my father discovered my clandestine relationship with Jared. My bodyguard had reported to him after he caught me with Jared. My father confronted me immediately but after denying it for some time, I owned up to the truth, hoping he would understand but I was wrong, what was I thinking? He had put me on lockdown since then which was partly the reason I refused treatment at first, to stay out for a while even though I was still on lockdown in the hospital but it was different. I was away from the ever-familiar environs of home at least. Jared couldn't visit me. He wasn't aware I was in the hospital, we haven't been able to reach each other since my lockdown included seizing my phone. Even if he knew I was in the hospital, my guard and a few of my dads stationed at the entrance of my ward would prevent him from entering. The knowledge didn't stop me from looking around for him though and hoping for a miracle which never came. The only miracle I got to witness was my father's presence which sent shivers running down my spine.

Agnes, who is currently leaning on me patted my arm in a bid to comfort me. My mom was quiet as always. You can't tell what side she is on in times like this because she offers moral support to no one. Although she wouldn't dare oppose my father, I can tell she doesn't always agree with him.

"You have come of age, Alice, and a grown woman. I shouldn't be applying violence to get you to obey. Though I would if I had to". My father continued.

I sat still on the sofa and adjusted my position to better accommodate Agnes who was already dozing off. I pretended to listen to my father with rapt attention but I was in a whole different world with Jared, swimming in my imagination.

"Open it". Rebecca demanded, holding a pack of candy to my mom. Her voice brought me back to reality and I realized that my father was still talking to me while I was completely zoned out.

"Here is your phone". He said as he handed my phone back. If he noticed my absentmindedness or my shock he didn't show it.

He left for his room afterwards while my mom trailed behind carrying Rebecca with her.

I felt a bitter taste settle on my lips as I watched her. All these years she was forced to raise Rebecca as her child, undermining the condition that brought about her birth.

Cautiously, I switched on the phone, making sure I was not being watched.

Even though a part of me expected it, I was surprised to find my phone wiped clean. It was as good as new with only the apps that came with it. My contacts, photos, music, and videos were all gone, and the SIM card! This isn't my SIM card.

I know I am supposed to be worried right now but I am not. Jared's number was stuck in my head and luckily, I hadn't sustained enough injuries to lose it.

I tapped Agnes who was stretched on the sofa and sent her to her room while I put off the lights.

I got to my room and dialed Jared's number after sending him a text. When he answered on the second ring, I ended the call. We texted each other back and forth making up for lost time.

I was in the middle of typing a message when the key in my door knob turned, indicating my dad's entrance since he alone has the spare key to every room in the house. Panic gripped me instantly. Very quickly, I switched off the phone and kept it under my pillow while I fell into a very convincing sleeping position just as my door was pushed open.