Which Man Stays?

A'S

feels light, a balloon ready to soar. I picture his face, the gap-toothed grin, the way he'll launch himself at his father, Daniel. I've already texted Dani

ghter spills from the living room. A child's high-pitched giggle that isn't Leo's. Confusion prickl

the doo

loons are tied to the chair, but they are silver and blue, not Leo's favo

ere th

miliar and terrible. I know her instantly from the one picture he could never bring himself t

five, wearing a tiny cardboard grad

gle blue balloon, his small face a mask of co

numb fingers. It hits the floo

e freezes, then melts into sho

on Daniel's arm. "Oh, hello," she sa

yrup. "Leo's birthday," I man

e forgot. He looks from the cake box on the floor to the banner, t

gentle poison. "Lily had her kindergarten graduation ceremony

h cake crumbs. Our plates. I see the presents stacked by th

in my leg. I feel his silent tear

n," Daniel starts, t

s cold hand, and walk out of my own living room. We go upstairs. I close his bedroom door and sit with

ing, then silence. A long time later, Daniel kn

ay, my voice f

ke "innocent celebration," "old friends," and "I'm sorry" bounce of

orld breaks

ine won't touch. Then the seizures. The ambulance ride

urround him. The doctor says words like "severe infection" and "medically-induced coma."

bed. I hold his limp hand. I talk to him about his dinosaurs, his fa

of the night, his lips move. A

e's coming, sweetheart

s a plea, a hook dragging through my soul.

morning, a nurse with kind eyes forces me to go to the

s out. I collapse onto a hard couch

immediate. Leo. I stumble bac

in the

stands at the foot of Leo's

not com

in the visitor's chair, swinging her legs, coloring on a pad. They are a

ost in th

wake. The nurse said you collap

it steals my vo

, sympathetic smile. "We came as

ptic air. Lily looks up at Danie

g deeper. I am invisible in my own son's hospital r

ove. I can

lara stands. "We should let him rest. Come on, Da

he hasn't made in years. It's for their benefit. Then they leave, th

the beep of the heart monitor. I sink into t

acle. A sma

lowly, they open. He looks at me, h

s voice i

or days finally fall. "I'm

h. He looks toward the door, then back at me. The

question, when it comes, is a whisper th

swallows, a painful little sound. "I

r of my universe, and I have no answer. No shield. Only the devastating truth, reflected in his glassy, wounded