ssi

long since turned cold, but

fening roar of the water to drown ou

-high-grade muscle relaxants and labor inducers I had swiped from

t the exit wou

up to my lips. I swallowed them dry. One b

wollen belly. I apologized to him. I whispered his name, Leo, over and over aga

ara cut him out of me and claim him as her own.

cy. Better for him to never breathe

ing, twisting knife grinding into my lower back. I bit down hard on a

een the tiles until my fin

xed with the water, swirling down

f I looked at his face, if I saw Luca's nose or my fa

llowcase I had brought into the bathroom. It was s

t cry. I had wept all my tears before I took the pills. Now, I was

e ventilation shaft behind the vanity

the hard

ntil my hands were raw and burning. I showered again, washing the

from the decorative pillows on the chaise l

a sharp sting against the dull a

nightgown

l looked pregnant. I still loo

was

bedroom. Luca was asleep. He didn't move. He

. I lay there, staring at the dark ceiling, feeling the pha

ed a Vit

sed m

give