through my contacts with shaking fingers until I found the

der Ca

rs old. The boy who'd taught me to rid

nes where I'd been too blinded by Miles to see him. The man who'd told me,

ded h

rang onc

er crying, my father arguing with someone, bridesmaids whispering urgently, guests pull

Lila?" Alexander's deep voice came through on the third ring, t

His voice alone made something loosen in my chest. S

ounded, considering my entire life had just imploded for

For three heartbeats-I counted them-the

. Probably in his office downtown, surrounded by th

from running his hands through it, the

and focused, already calc

en building forts in his backyard, the voice that had always made

r explanation. Just absolute certainty and

el it in my throat. Had I really just done that? Had I rea

less and possibly the most

truly clear-headed decisio

d dress swishing around her ankles. Her face was a mixture of con

my God, ar

re you

ell everyon

ed at her, then at the crowd of guests

gathering their things, a

nd her shoulders. My father looked furious, his jaw clenche

u counted all the planning that had gone into the previous two failed attempts. The flowers were perfec

l along. "No," I said clearly, loudly enough that several nearby guests turned to look at me. "We're not canceling. We're not send

what are you

a strange calm settling over me now that the dec

ffer people champagne. And tell my parents-" I paused, seeing my mother's tear-staine

e I

'd finally