ana

ord 'Baby' on the

had taught me how to compartmentalize trauma. When a patient was bleeding out on the table, panic meant death. My

and slid it back i

in the curtains one last time. Ivan had lifted Kiera off the sofa. Her legs

kept her eyes closed. She w

al was lukewarm now. I thought about the three hours I spent simmering the deer meat,

nfrontation right now would only end with me looking like a hysterical,

ed his

branches of the old oak tree in the center of the yard. I crouched down and placed the thermos careful

umbrella. I let the freezing rain beat down on my head, pla

. The guard was staring at hi

I cranked the heat, holding my numb, blue fingers

ping loop around the city perimeter. I watched my rearview mirror constantly, tracking the headlights behind

round garage of the pent

ete darkness. The air in the apartment smelled like expensiv

oat right in the foyer and droppe

e shower on. I didn't touch the hot water dial.

il it was bright red, violently erasing the ghost of that synthetic orchid perfume from my pore

chanical efficiency. I put on a p

h velvet sofa. I didn't turn on a single lamp. I sat in the pitch bl

drizzle, and the sky beyond the floor-to-ceiling

d out the location of every physical deed, every encryp

00 AM, the el

e of a key sliding into

closed my eyes and let out a soft, ragged breath, l

door cli

He was carrying a brown paper bag from the artisan bakery down

licked the switch fo

me on the sofa. Ivan froze. The paper bag crinkled loudly in hi

link of an eye, the panic vanished, replace

he room, his boots heavy on the hardwood. He dropped to his

all asleep on the co