's [

Instead, I reflected on how focusing on one thing for too long seemed to make it lose all meaning. My hea

ctly what was happening at all times. That had been the main reason I had risen so fast in the company. The board of directors had noticed my work ethic, and when a candid

living room. Noah's side of the table was a mess of toys and blocks and crayons. He was trying to build something, b

a job to support Noah. I had been so consumed with being able to provide for him that I'd sacrificed the time spent with him. It was a sad

ad received at her funeral. Still to this day, I could barely remember much about her funeral or the days that followed. What

said. "How has s

ok up from his

draw his concentration away from

oo

t friend's name

ah said, gl

t," I nodded

a girl,

that's right,

es," Noah told me. "Chocolate chip and

sounds

a cook

your treat for tod

sked, looking up at me

t told me you

et to eat, but I suppressed the urge. That was another thing about being a single parent: you could never take a bre

hover if it weren't for my army backgroun

she came to school to speak to us," N

d she speak

eplied. "She's a.

narian,"

odded. "But I can

tell me abou

bining the two words. "

u d

a fighter," he said. "

I corrected gently. "And now...

onfidently. "That's w

more guilt reared its ugly head. "I'm not gone all t

Noah pointed out, turning his

oah shrugged, and I could see from the pout on his lips that he didn't want

u?" I asked, passi

ond I thought he wasn't going to answe

kay?" I

baths and lets me watch televi

treat every other day, and he was allowed half an hour of television on weekdays and one hour on weekends. His bedtime was eight o

k, too," Noah said. "Some day

d short.

y," he repeated. "J

d. "Ah.

"Jaime and Jesse and Luke and Xander. I

d gently. "Do you see that pictu

ah said, glancing behind

not," I s

t remem

ung when...she left us," I

d she l

ly. This was the first time we were having a real conversation about her.

e us, Noah," I said. "Sh

epeated like he

to do something, wheth

ke

trying to figure

im and gave him water, but one day he wasn't moving.

, remembering Noah telling m

-hu

etely unsure if I was saying the right thing. "I'm su

at?" Noah asked, looki

er smiling, but that didn't leave me with very many options. She was wearing her uniform in the picture I had finally chose

d Noah. "She was in the army,

en you

dded. "And the

en Momm

been doing my best the whole time to avoid using that word, thinking i

," I

denly. "Tina has two mommies

aid gently. "It's no

fter that conversation and considered the possibility of hiring a live-in nanny. Perhaps Noah wou

; he spent more time with Janet than he did with me. He didn't have a mothe

I was going to make a difference in Noah's life. My goal had always been to do my utmost to make

buddy?" I asked, forci

d immediately. "Lik

aid. "That's

" he replie

w up. I remembered the first few months after Noah's birth and felt that familiar darkness engulf me. It had been a very difficult ti

rsing Noah. Her hazel eyes were wide with pan

won't it?" she had

I had told he

lp Daphne. She had looked at me to save her, and I had turned my face away. Had I been selfish or ignorant? Had I been too you

d of Noah's voice

, bu

e asked. "Will you he

ets and nodded. "Of course, son