rc

I can barely hear myself

er keys on the hall table along with a

ather. Her blonde hair in its usual high ponytail shines in the summer sun.

he say?"

ws her eyebrows and takes a step back. "He's

. And, god, I'd like to keep it that way. I need one person on campus who kn

ope doesn't look robotic and drop my lap

kitchen and begins pulling out the kettle for tea. I watch her thro

and Steph asked him," she says. "And then apparently D

to go faster. I n

me to me." She pours water into the kettle, plugs it in, and tu

me smile as Ryan's. Ben has a million pictures of women who l

he say?"

tly arched eyebrow. "Th

he can't see. Should I giggle? Normal girls giggle when a guy like

turn yourself inside out like this." Heather laughs and gra

im. Is that good? S

he was really sweet. Kind of awkward. He barely met my eyes, and he starte

roblem approaching people. But

d, the Dana-voice i

ls to shreds. Magazine for Heather. Bill for me. Bill for Heather. And at the bottom of t

ie?" I ask. "Like,

h, yeah? Why? I think he got y

or Ryan, for being locked up. More than enough messages asking if I saw something that night that "drove me crazy." I ran into Dana's office on a day we didn't have an appointment, sobbing, and told her I couldn't be Lily Nelson anymore. I wanted to

cause Ryan on

two mugs of tea and sets them o

u to have a boyfriend. Get you out of the apartment a little more

I say

es back a litt

be, it's not possible-I could never go out with Ben. I don't even k

"Should I, like, tell other people to s

ruin his life. I shake my head.

teph anyway. He did go up to her firs

something else." I gna

kes her head. "Trust me, I have plenty to talk about. S

ng about the head editor of the Arkly an

of her cup and drops it immediately in the trash. "So we've got this new guy, Scott." She says his

old onto the normalcy of this conversa

n see the writers. I got chucked this assignment, which I'm really fucking grateful for, but he took my photographer into his office to ha

weird power dynamic between juniors and seniors on the paper, as well as how crazy it is to work with real adults for the first time. I don't mention that I've done that with my summer job at one of the cafes in town. Heather's parents help out with tuition, so she spent the summer volunteering with a few other kids on a paper they were

normal, and my tea is brutally over-steeped. I pull out the bag and lean over

ignal for homework you

cott pulls his head

hopeful. "But, oh my god, I completely forgot. H

my laptop, turning the question over i