zed duffel bag seeing as I was only going to be here until after Thanksgiving which was just tomorrow. Knowing Mom, she would make me stay till after the weekend and I was going to object

reason like her pain. I wasn't going to allow myself do that. "Now she hates me." Lisa cried and held her face. "This is nothing but a little misunderstanding. I would go to your room to apologize to her but that would be me interfering in your friendship again so I'm leaving you to this. Go to her, apologize, explain the circumstances of how and why you told me. You weren't trying to bring her down or to gossip about her, you needed advice and you came to me. The way I spoke about it was wrong and unacceptable and I would make that clear but only after you've made your point clear to her." Lisa sniffed, that's how I knew she was crying. She was fast enough to wipe the tears before they fell but her face had reddened just as much as her eyes. She shifted towards me, curving her back as she did so. "What if she doesn't get me? Did you see how mad she was?" "She needed to be mad at something at that moment but she knows you mean love." A heavy sigh left Lis's lips. "Alright." She stayed quiet for a while after that. When she moved again, it was to drop her head on my leg. I drew a line from one end of her forehead to the other one. She wasn't crying anymore. The quiet whimpers were slowing down until they weren't there. "Why didn't you tell anyone you were coming?" In that moment, I was glad that she couldn't see my face. I took a second to calm my breathing. No one needed to know the shit I got myself in. No one needed to know that I had let them down once again. "I wanted to surprise you all." I easily lied. Lisa punched my knee. "You suck at surprises." She lifted her body onto her elbow and faced me, silently pleading before she even spoke. "Come back more often, please?" "I promise to try." I brushed ghost strands of hair back for her. I meant what I was promising. I was going to try but trying didn't mean I had to be successful. Trying could end in failure too, so I was going to try and offer my comfort for the days they had to be stuck with my failures. I was going to try only. *** I could turn around, head home and lie to Mom that I didn't see Elena. It was the easier option. I wasn't ready to knock. I wasn't ready to see her again. What if she was doing better and living a good life? What if my presence was only going to remind her of losing her daughter? I lifted my hand but didn't quite knock yet. I held it up until my elbow and biceps began to sore. I still hadn't knocked. I had picked out a clean, button down shirt for this occasion. I had brushed my side burns and beards, I had applied moisturizer to my