ooked fl
me that," he mumble
ard expl
ay the significance
mfort was
my expression c
monologue
mly call their mother'
ical obs
hrough his fl
ing more a
me then, his
his tone disapproving. "I
ng aestheti
o control m
o Chloe, who was, of cour
olism of
ind
not the color h
in the background, like
nal ques
with a new, bitter realizat
n' t
e a small,
resig
al exha
ing from these smal
was no
was filled with
nce between us wa
mmuni
engine and the city
l state was
ried myself in studying
pendent
-rel
l growth outside th
ties were
barely
late at the lab" or "m
of those colleagu
erence to
lf-abs
in my personal life
x Corp deal f
erling Advisory,
ted on a cele
ssional
gnit
st to my perso
elf go th
ch cha
uch r
ability i
udly, leaning on my c
d guy, alway
reliant o
e for an unexpec
erned, too
d. I' m calling Jul
d protest, he
d male lead
e and t
the other end, reve
Julian' s voice
trollin
e judgment o
m the addres
drunken affectio
slurred, rea
for comfort, for connec
ing to the surface in
't say
oped me int
essive
ying posse
ontrol me, even
his do
lance at the white blou
imperceptible
val of co
fter colors, closer t
y linked
ue, if I could hear
up at our
lly so controlle
e physica
rges, perhaps by the sight
smell of his cologne, the
aw em
of it all, he sa
hl
trayal, a repe
g his true
pain, even du
if, his unconsc
stumbled to
cy contrace
acy self-p
and phys
to prevent unwa
ffering was a
etending to be asle
lo
ipulati
immediate
er continue
my new apartment. I' m scared."
of bed in
be righ
ate depart
lty to the riva
, showing hi
ck "lab crisis" mutt
there,
fer
n and hu
riorities, stark
ue, my internal e
s later, my
te
m C
I th
e didn' t still love me, would he?
ect t
d text, deliber
ance, revealing
rom Julian, replying to her t
l have feelings
ion of endur
mate con
statin
fears r