ames worked in his home office, I poured my fears, suspicions, an

beautiful but delicate. The way he said "delicate" made my skin crawl. Like I'm

nothing alarming. James caught me and got upset. Said it wasn't "healthy" to dwell on the past. Suggested we delete a

rding to my app. James wants to start buying nursery furniture already. When I suggested waiting until the second

ootsteps approaching. By the time he entered the b

people?" he asked, sitti

ion feeling foreign on my face

show the slightest curve. "I was thinking we could invite your parents for di

who had stood by their daughter through years of fertility struggles. The gene

ce," I said, not

ow." He paused, studying my fa

o meet his gaze. "Just tired.

tracing circles on my wrist. A gentle

lse woul

now. You've been spending a lot of tim

t helps me process ever

things do you

Symptoms. Feelings. Questions ab

he question sounded innocent

ng to keep my voice light. "J

most imperceptibly. "We've never k

me laugh if fear wasn't closing my throat.

en us. Then, like a switch being flip

ce." He stood up. "I'm going to make som

you," I ma

ng against my ribs. He knew about the journal. Had he rea

better. Or get it out

zzed with a

omorrow?

alt with evidence, with building cases, with protecting vulnerable

old insecurities turn me paranoid? James was under enormous pressure at

could change my mind. *Can you pick me u

immediately: *No

would bring the journal, show Zoe my concerns. She would eit

ctive from someone who loved

d questions about my day, and bringing up happy memories from our early relat

in bed. "That terrible Italian restaurant whe

ok it off right there and wore your u

ghed, drawing me closer. "I would have sat t

y would have mad

I knew that night you were the one. I t

de me sad for that younger version of myself, so

ispered against my hair. "Mor

plied automatically, th

tle but insistent. I closed my eyes, trying to summ

ed, lips against my neck.

sitive pregnancy test, a combination of my exhaustion and his apparent fear of

ross my body. I lay awake, watching the digital clock tick thr

t to the bathroom. Standing under the hot spray of th

ve. I think he's lying about something important. I'm scared, but I don't know if I'm be

aptured the tangled mess of love and fear,

hen. The smell of coffee and bacon wafted up the stair

purse and plastered on a smi

chair for me. "I made your favorite breakfast

ing down. "You didn't have

Oh, I forgot to mention I ran into Zoe's assistant at the gym yesterday. Sounds like