V

my stomach emptied itself violently. The smell of bleach and old urine made everything worse

me, those two pink lines staring up at me like

athroom stall. My voice echoed off the c

baby. The stranger who'd made me feel wanted fo

se. Maybe my mother would understand. Maybe she'd help me. Maybe

so w

She didn't even look up from her soap opera. "You stupid girl. You're just

ed living room, my heart pounding. "I need help. I

y childhood. "Help? You want help? You made your bed,

aise the baby. I'm askin

from the wine she'd been drinking. "You're not my problem anymore. You

yes. "Where am I

ed to the door and opened it wide

gh my bones. I stood on the cracked sidewalk, my small bag o

and desperation. It was a place for the forgot

name tag read "Sandra," and she had kind eyes that had seen t

men. The woman next to me, Maria, was in her fifties

e asked quietly

, afraid

ean. The rest..." She shrugged

n my hands and knees until my back screamed. Washing dishes in restaurants that

ld. It followed me everywhere. I threw up in restaurant bathrooms, in alleyways, behind du

e shelter. Her name was Kelly, and she had mean eyes and a

too much, the judgment too heavy to bear. I wore baggy clothes and h

e. My supervisor at the cleaning company, Mr

were cold, calculating. "Can't have preg

eaking. "I need this job. I'll

nded me my final paycheck, two days' wo

shelter. Thirty days had turned into sixty through Sandra

r eyes filled with genuine reg

s when the weather was warm. Twenty-four-hour laundromats when it was cold. The p

s girl with ratty clothes and hollow eyes

ne woman said as I wal

her legs closed,

er will she be?" a

my chest, but I kept walking. I

ed myself. I learned which restaurants threw out food at closing time, which chur

o could provide for him, who had a home and a job and a fu

::

as cleaning the toilets, trying to earn enough money for a meal

ipping the sink. "Not

aby had o

roke. The nurse, a tired-looking woman named Ja

call?" she asked as she hel

ween contractions.

to hold my hand, no one to tell me it would be okay. Just me, al

t encouraged. "I

ontraction tore through

You're stronger

n my chest. He was perfect, tiny fingers, perf

with a tired smile. "

aking and healing at the same time. "

something stopped me cold. His eyes opened brie

ray. Storm-

ike his f