o

ourself is that eventually,

a because it's easy. Because she's reactive, and I

it's

even in my own head-it started way

d in midd

p tongue-but she laughed more. She'd shoot water through her teeth at Jackson during lunch, or race us t

ble back then. Sh

n curved higher on the right side. The way she'd wrinkle her nose when s

ike

mu

ared the he

-my quarterback, my brother from another mother. The

. Teasing, needling, whatever you want to call it. It was easier to pl

years, that

lly am that guy. The one who points out her e

y something, every time I watch he

ching h

ching h

things I sh

k was th

h a bowl of popcorn, pretending she didn't care if we ate it all. She sat on

hed at some dumb commentary on TV-

d that laugh

ive. It wasn't trying to

't stop

g, and everything inside me knotted tight

I'd been w

derneath all the te

orst

want t

tter than being some secret I bury under sar

or snaps back with some fiery retort, and

o the edge, the more I want

top hiding behind j

e tucks her hair behind her ear when she's nervous. That I've thought abo

itate her isn't beca

she makes me

how to handle it is to

at the ceiling in the

ter, I won't be able

ship with Jackson, the team, the fragile ba

the

finally sees me th

light the m