e time. I usually just sat outside under a tree eating my lunch with a book popped open or my iPod screaming swee

able?” I heard a v

y available table. It’s not like I just wanted Blake to know I usually hid away from the rest of the w

always eat outside,” I though. “Maybe

u taking me big

re was no way in hell that I was a big guy. I probably looked not much older than fourteen if I had to guess for myself. What this guy tota

h made it a bit more difficult for me to keep my cool. I mean, come-on

talk again. Never. Talking makes bad things happen. Talking ruins everything. Talking is what caused me the load of shit I am still trying to sort

the yard, where nobody dared to go, being too scared to be too far away when the bell rang. That suited me just fine. Another reason why I really liked this specific tree was the fact tha

I could almost feel his breath on my neck, so inst

made the right decision. I mean, I could have gone over to Alice’s table. I am sure she would’ve let

later I could almost feel the energy in th

u don’

long at all, I though

d see the curls hidden underneath. It was completely messy, and at the same time he looked like he just came from a hair salon. Just with that one

lunch break?” Blake asked, a twinkle in his eye. It w

r years. I wasn’t about to start now, ex

answer, I mean…” Blake said

g it to a clean sheet as quickly as possible, almost as if he w

then scrambled in his bag to find

m another puzzled look that probably revealed a hell of a lot of lin

e said pointing at the notebook. “S

vidence to show the teachers and the other kids that although I don’t talk to other people, I do sing loudly to My Chemical Romance when my mom

ad Elijah! Sh

my lips stayed stuck to e

get it. You don’t

my hea

on’t you sit in the

s, making Blake frown and mutter;

that every second of every day!” I wanted to scream to him, but instead I just gave another frown that he couldn’t see. Gosh, maybe Blak

g else meaningless I grabbed the notebook closer and began

ot just that, why would you hang out with a weirdo? I’m sure you

type,” Blake said and watched as

y m

bie just doesn’t go with cool

and for a moment I so longed to just laugh one more time. I used to love laughing. But you nev

kids that can actual

al conversation at the moment,” Blake said and put his

he had practiced that smile and done it a hundred times before. And although I barely knew him I could see a type of worry in his eyes. A k

ady for a friendship, m

started screaming, and at lea

ast as my skinny emo legs could carry me. Far away from the one person that made me form a word. Far away from the boy who made me want to go to the nearest bathroom to wash the cross from m

*

he car. Gawd. This woman was really annoying with all the questions, mak

hru

ain, looking at me in the rear

he oldest and mustiest books I could find the usual,

Could this woman not stop trying to make conversation

asks again, this time turning around in her

arging you for more sessions! Are you stupid! And at this moment I wish that my mind can reach out to yours to shake

my fringe, and just nodded, showing that I was still alive somewhere under

bably would have screamed a bit more if the car behind us didn’

her. Mother’s was supposed to know everything, weren’t they? In the wo

llowed to just stare out the window, while my mother tried to reach Celine Dion

ay, I could hear my mother backing out of the driveway and heading off to her second job for the day. Yes, she probably wasn’t a bad mother considering she did everything she co

truth was it wasn’t really old. It was just made to look that way. My fingers traced the word “Emotional Amnesia” wh

a r

e flesh

y he

ll very soo

od pou

ting w

n and

ears i

or anoth

nsion bui

razor one

ere’s no w

ng sound

th a laug

’ll feel

for anot

stood

ipping so

e of my s

r-endi

ituations playing off around me. But this time, and the first time ever, it just wasn’t enough to inspire me. Something, or someone else kept popping into my head. A boy who laughed while his eyes sparkled. A boy who would place his warm hand on my and make

in the pit of my stomach lulled me away to a beautiful place I did not even know existed up to this very moment. And I knew at t

*

the moon was splashing all over my face. I slept the day away, l

home!” I hea

k, but stopped myself just in time, rather gett

d never live in real life wash away from my body. Feeling the burn on my arms where I tried t

e shower and followed the smel

nice tip, and Markus even gave me off early tonight. So I thought I would treat us to some pizza and

dly and almost fell as she ran around the kitch

ibly could. For a moment I thought she was laughing, but her shaking wasn’t laughing when sh

” she whispered through t

so that she could stop working late nights at the restaurant to pay for it. I wanted her to know that even though I hated her for not knowing wh

s ok

n’t help it. It was out befo