cker room and stare sightlessly at my clasped hands. They're clen

the rig

because let's face it, there's no way to come back from a

ief flooded through me

t to mean som

ming up inside me. I feel like the world's biggest asshole for handling it in this manner. I damn well know that Alyssa didn't deserve to be broken u

responding to her texts. She's tried calling at least half a dozen times and sent a slew of messages asking what the hel

e at Beck as he loiters beside me. He's dressed and ready to get the hell out of here and I'm still sittin

thing

talented quarterbacks in the country. He's been breaking state and NCAA records for years. Even as a sophomore, there's no doubt in my mind that he'll end up playi

ff his ha

nly imploding

so I'm not really sure if tha

nders is having a little get togethe

pa

eal with that right now. Not with

ng to reveal what's really going on.

hat we're calling get

ggers and a red Wildcats T-shirt come next. Once dressed, I grab my sweatshirt and athletic bag, ready to take off. I just want to go home and lick my wounds. Sure, they're self-inflicted bu

ot is eating me alive. The bitch of

the corridor of the athle

e eyes. All it takes is one look at the fury vibrating off her in heavy waves to know that I won't escape this confro

face is enough of a tipoff for him to abandon this sinking ship poste haste. Can't exactly say I blame him for it. I'd probably do the

t Beck, Alyssa's gaze

m," I mutter, dread poolin

he disappears down the hallway like the

e stillness cra

rtbeat

ano

xpected. Instead, she stares silently, scouring my face for answers I refuse to give. Hurt seeps into

u

eep end. Then I could mentally shut down and tune out

th

minations aimed

off her as if it's a

ossible to

I'm the archite

for giving in and allowing

though, she'd never know it from my behavior. I've done everything in my power to ignore Alyssa. To keep her at a distance.

ng abo

dn't

ng wo

xactly how it would end between us. When it comes down to

is, I can't love her, an

does that

lace that neither

ad just been a fuck. One I could fo

zes it or not, th

hy

s more than enough. It's like a burning arr

. It's vital to bear witness to the harm I've inflicted. It'll serve as a perman

t six, but Alyssa is a towering pillar of strength. I don't think I've ever met another girl like her. It's doubtful I

on that she's stan

elieving that this girl wouldn't

have know

between us. I wish I weren't so fucked in the head. But,

, holding up her phone.